Change and Flexibility

20 Oct

I’m torn most days about the direction I would like to see my life go.  It’s scary to me that I’m only going to be 23, but there are already so many things that are very closed to me.

Everyday, I am more attracted to the idea of motherhood.  It’s the knitting of baby socks, sweaters, blankets, the idea of creating someone who is half of you and half of the person you love most in the world, the thought of being able to teach and show and shape another human being, the first steps, the sleepless nights, the first days of school — it’s alluring.  Is it anti-feminist?  I don’t think so.  It’s about embracing my womanhood and stepping into a new role and responisibility.  What could be both more powerful and more terrifying than having complete control over another human life?  Not much.

Conversly, how do I shake the things I’ve always wanted to do?  Things I’ve wanted long before motherhood entered my radar.  My M.A., PhD, being a professor, publishing, world travel, worldwide volunteer work… You get the picture.

And so, the real question is: What must be given up, and what is most important?
The answer:  Nothing will be given up and all are very very important.
How do I accomplish this? Change.  Change and flexibility will take care of everything.

My new plan you ask?  To produce the most cultured, educationally aware, and just plain kick ass kid ever.  What better education could there be than to watch one’s parents obtain higher degrees, to spend extended amounts of time abroad, learning the language and culture when your mind is like a sponge, to constantly volunteer to help others, to be well versed in Hemingway and Shakespeare before your 10th birthday, and to understand how to tear apart and rebuild a computer by your 5th birthday?

Just, you know, an fyi. 😉

One Response to “Change and Flexibility”

  1. cmshea October 20, 2010 at 1:40 pm #

    I love it! And you can still do all that you want to–you have time, Babe! There will be many sleepless nights where you can write in an effort to be published 🙂 Huzzah!!

    And it’s not anti-feminist to want to have a baby. Feminism is about the empowerment of women, and how women should be treated equally. Men can’t give birth–we can. And if anything, we are blessed to give birth to beautiful kids and to raise them to love Shakespeare….and Hemingway…I suppose. 😉 heheh
    Love you!!!

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