Tag Archives: post lupron

32: Fail

29 Aug

This cycle failed.  My 5 follicles, 900+ estrogen, excellent progesterone levels, and severe OHSS failed.  I failed.  I had a perfect cycle and I couldn’t do it.  We couldn’t have asked for anything more from this cycle.  

I feel so guilty and so horrible.  I feel like I’m never going to be able to do this.  

A big part of me is happy we chose not to pay for IVF.  I can’t imagine how guilty I would feel when that failed as well.

My heart hurts.  Everything hurts.  

Ultrasound tomorrow to make sure my ovaries are ok after so much swelling.  Birth control for a cycle if they’re not.



12 Aug

Today, I went in for another monitoring appointment.  I was feeling so full, uncomfortable, and exhausted; I half expected to be told to trigger and come in tomorrow morning for IUI #4.

Not so much.  These follicles are going to keep cooking for a couple more days.  
The reasoning for that full, fuzzy feeling: 5 follicles.  I had a mild panic attack while I was laying on the ultrasound table without my pants on.  The ultrasound tech tried to assure me that she thought at least one of them wouldn’t make it.  Still… 4 follicles.  Yikes.  

Today, they’re measuring at 14mm, 16mm, 16mm, 17mm, and 19mm.  And my estrogen is a whopping 706

I keep my cycle charts on the fridge.  After each monitoring appointment I list how many follicles, their sizes, my estrogen level, lining size, and any other pertinent information.  One year ago today, I started my very first injectable cycle with Dr. B.  Looking back at my chart, I frequently recorded: 1 follicle, E2: 245, 2 follicles, 1 follicle, E2: 142, 1 follicle, E2: 296….  Today’s “5 follicle, E2: 706” looks ridiculously out of place.  I’ve never had more than 2 follicles mature at once and my estrogen has NEVER been higher than 296.

I think it’s safe to say the lurpon did it’s job.  I think it’s also safe to say that the endometriosis was, without a doubt, affecting my ability to create quality follicles. 

5 follicles. Nobody say the “t” words… Or the “q” words…

I’m taking one 112.5 unit dose of gonal-f today, one 75 unit dose of gonal-f tomorrow, triggering on Wednesday, and our 4th (and hopefully final) IUI will occur Thursday morning.  My guess?  We’ll end up with 4 mature follicles.  

I’m going to go throw up now…