Tag Archives: werewolves

18: 2, 3, 5,18,18, 24, 25, 6, 2

22 Jun

Cycle day 2.  3rd round of clomid.   5 days of clomid.  18 days until we meet with our RE.  18 cycles so far.  24 years old.  25 years old in 6 months.  2 months until graduate school.

I’m both sad and relieved to have this cycle come to an end.  It was a hopeless cycle.  But I knew that.  I had zero expectations.  I’m not going to lie, part of me was hoping for a miracle, but logically I know the chances of us getting pregnant this month were next to nothing.  It makes me feel better some how.  It makes me feel like I have more control.  I chose to not try to have a baby this month.  There is no baby.  I win.  Or something.  It makes me feel better, don’t judge me.

We’re back to temping and ovulation sticks.  I’m not going to lie, I really liked my alarm not going off at 6:30 every morning…

I feel a little more renewed as we get ready to start our 3rd round of clomid.  I know that this break did me some good.  I feel a little more on top of things.  I’m still deciding how I feel about seeing the RE.  The piles of paperwork his office sent over isn’t helping anything.  Nor are the questions.  Awkward…
I saw my acupuncturist yesterday and she knows and definitely recommends our new RE.  He’s very pro-acupuncture and he’s very passionate about what he does.

I finished Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter this week.  We’re going to see the movie tomorrow.  I actually really enjoyed the book.  I found it both interesting and amusing.  But then I also enjoyed Little Women and Werewolves and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies… 😉  I think it helps that I’ve read all of the originals.  I have to appreciate the way these authors take other works and turn them into supernaturally enhanced versions.  No judging.

Also, there’s a bottle of Pacific Rim Sweet Riesling chilling in my fridge for this afternoon.  Yum.

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October 2: 7 Years

2 Oct

Although this weekend started out pretty rough, it seemed to end on a better note.  There were a lot of tears this time.  I wonder if it’s going to keep getting harder.  I had assumed it would get easier, and it was for a while.  I think the worst part is that there isn’t anything that can be done right now.  No one can make this easier, no one can make this hurt less.  I’m developing this deep anger at body that, for once, doesn’t stem from a physical trait.  I feel incompetent, useless, broken.  I feel like there’s something wrong with me.  Like anything else that isn’t performing the way it should, the way it was made to, things feel very wrong.

I’ve wondered a lot lately about never having kids.  A lot of people don’t.  We originally weren’t having any.  We’ve been talking about greyhounds.  And an iguana.  But then what?  I suppose we have endless possibilities.  Fostering, adopting, dying all alone… to name a few.  No positive enough?  Too bad.

We saw a couple movies this weekend.   Abduction with Taylor Lautner (No, there are no werewolves.  Dissapointed?  Me too. 😉 ) and 50/50 with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Seth Rogan.  50/50 is the big winner.  Jeremy and I both agreed that it was a GOOD movie.  We don’t often agree on things like that.  I laughed, I cried (real shocker, right?), and then I laughed some more.

I did some sewing.  I slept a lot.  Laundry.  I cuddled with Bella.  And Alice.  I know, crazy weekend.

I suppose on one happy note, Jeremy and I started dating 7 years ago today.  Here’s a picture from a few days later.  It was our Junior Homecoming, we were 16-years-old:

Aww, look how clueless we were... 😉

We really liked each other.  Cute and smart?  –>Winning.  We fought a lot.  We went through a lot.  But 7 years later, he’s still my very best friend, the best husband I could ever hope for, and the best man that I know.  Despite everything we’re dealing with right now, I’m still a very lucky girl.