Tag Archives: messages

Things That Go Bump…

8 Jan

I was just reminded why I usually do everything within my power to stay away from the horror genre:  my nightmares are more terrifying than anything I could ever watch or read.  Also, my imagination doesn’t need to ammunition.

There was a point in my life that nightmares would come constantly.  Then, suddenly, they stopped.  I had the occasional one here and there if what I had been doing before I went to bed was a little too exciting for my brain to process, but they never meant anything.  Slowly, but surely, they’ve been coming back.  They’re more than just random.  I have to believe, even if it’s to some small extent, that they mean something; that they’re purpose is to tell me something.
How do I know?  I wake up terrified, with my eyes on the ceiling, covered in perspiration.   It’s rare that I’m able to move, so I strain to make sure my husband is asleep next to me: I hear him snoring, feel him move, or, rarely, hear him mumbling something in his sleep because I’ve been thrashing.  The room is pitch black and as my fear begins to ebb, it’s often replaced with a sense of knowing, a feeling or piece of knowledge that something in my life needs to change; that I need to change.  It’s a feeling or knowledge so secure and so matter-of-fact that it sticks with me.  The fear rarely hangs on, but if there was some kind of message attached to it then it always hangs on.

A little heavy for my return from winter break?  Sorry.  3 am seemed like the perfect time to blog with the perfect topic 20 minutes ago… 😉  Suffice to say, my break has been a busy one, but a good one.  I had a birthday, we celebrated Christmas with our family, I saw Christine off to South Korea for a year, the new year was rung in, our plans to move in the next 7 weeks have been confirmed, and I’ve been waging war with Professor Lukasik regarding my creative writing grade (who didn’t see that one coming? 😉 ).  School begins on Monday and I’ll have much to write about then.

Off to do some demolition in 5 hours.  I think I need the distraction….