Toronto

Someone is enjoying being back in his hometown. 🙂

So after the weirdest first day of vacation I’ve ever had, we’re in Toronto and managed to have a good night’s sleep.  Between switching hotels, converting metric measurements, getting lost in downtown Toronto while completely exhausted, and a 4 am fire alarm the hotel, our vacation has been a memorable one so far. 😉
It’s definitely been an adventure.  We did, however, have the easiest border crossing we’ve ever experienced together.  Usually they give us a hard time because I’m American and he’s Canadian and I don’t have his last name.  But they let us right through.

And, for having taken 2 clomid so far in this cycle, I’m feeling great in comparison to last month.  I’ve had a little bloating, cramping, and disorientation, but I’m functioning well. 🙂  I took the advice of taking it at night, which I think is really helping.  I also wonder if knowing what to expect and having this  weird vacation to focus on have helped me handle it better.  Either way, I’m not complaining.  I’m so thankful for the few symptoms I do have. 🙂

We’re off to take Toronto by storm in a few minutes.  There’s a few neat textile stores I want to see.  And of course, the St. Lawrence Market is always a favorite. 🙂

Positive, Positive, Positive

I’m focusing on the positives today.

1.  We leave on our vacation Friday morning.  We’re leaving Chicago super early and going through Detroit to have lunch with a friend from college, then straight to Toronto to see Jeremy’s Grandparents.  We’ll stay there until Sunday morning, when we’ll drive to a cute little inn in Niagara Falls.  We usually go to warm locations on our spring vacations, but I’m looking forward to not having to wear my bikini this year.  That clomid has not been kind to my mid section. 😉  Not to mention I’ll be taking clomid over the course of our entire trip.  Hot flashes on a beach?  No thank you.  In hind sight, this was a well planned location. 🙂 50 degrees = sweaters and hoodies!

2. We have wine tasting vouchers to 5 different wineries in Niagara Falls.  As for me?  There is no two week wait or baby up in here.  HELLOOOOO, Wine Tasting. 😉 *hands Jeremy the keys*

3.  We have a jacuzzi in our hotel room.

4.  We put an offer in on the house with the blue kitchen!!!

5.  My mom gave me a giftcard for new shoes.  I’m going shoe shopping tomorrow. 🙂

I am happy today.  I will be happy tomorrow.  In fact, I will probably be happy for the next 24 days… 🙂  I should plan a vacation or buy a house after my period starts every month. 😉

“New face of infertility: Under 35, frustrated”

I have to share this article from USA Today.   Mostly because it makes me so happy that someone is starting to pay attention to how horrible young infertility really is.   This article focuses more on the late twenties and early thirties, but it’s better than ignoring how much of a problem being young and infertile really is.  I don’t like that it makes young women out to be impatient to have babies and implies that they go for fertility treatments before the first year mark.  It mostly irritates me because although I desperately felt like something was wrong, I managed to wait a whole year before starting testing and medication.

I’ve talked about this before and how angry it makes me when people mention that I “still have time” or that I’m “still so young.”  I’m often treated like my infertility isn’t a real problem because I’m not in my late thirties or forties.  I often question whether my doctor is trying very hard to help us get pregnant or if she feel like we’re not a priority.

I hate that there are two sides of infertile men and women (the ones who waited to have children and are now fighting maternal age, and the ones who tried to have children when they’re young and are fighting their failing bodies) and that they’re constantly feuding over which has it worse.

Whether you have more time or are running out of time, being infertile hurts in every way possible.  It hurts physically when you’re undergoing treatments and testing, it is heartbreaking emotionally to have to grieve a loss every single month,  and it’s painful in your relationships because your friends and family cannot understand the way you feel.  Your age doesn’t make anything feel better or anything feel worse.  Being young and infertile sucks.  Being older and infertile sucks just as much.

My goal this National Infertility Awareness Week is to advocate for young infertility awareness.  Not because I think it’s more important, but because I feel it often doesn’t get as much attention and is just as important.

 

16: The Facts of Life

1. I am 24 years old.

2.  I am not overweight.  I am not underweight.

3.  I don’t drink caffeine or alcohol.

4.  I eat generally healthy foods.

5.  I got married and I finished college.

6.  I love my husband very much.

7.  I take a prenatal vitamin every night.

8. I go to fertility acupuncture once a week.

9.  I have unexplained infertility.

10.  I feel like a failure.

11.  We’re getting ready to start our second round of clomid.

12.  I will be 25 before we have a baby.  I said the same thing last year about being 24.

13.  I have no idea what we’re doing wrong.

Ps.  Happy National Infertility Awareness Week.  Or something.

Blue Kitchens

Still hanging in here at 12 dpo and CD 31.  Still getting negative pregnancy tests though.  Who knows what’s going on…  This excess water weight is killing me very slowly though…

On a positive note, I think we may have found our house. =)
The kitchen spoke to me…

Do you see those tiles in the back splash?  They’re Swedish tiles.  My mom and sister have some of these exact tiles hanging in their kitchen.  I’ve always wanted some of my own.  It’s fate.  And it’s blue.  I LOVE every part of the kitchen.  Plus a double oven, first floor laundry off the kitchen, HUGE family room, and a big backyard.  Only negative: no basement.  But I love it so much that I’m ok with that.

We’re talking about putting an offer in soon.   It’s a short sale, so who knows how it will turn out.  I’m already attached. 😉

Clomid Cycle 1: Day 29

I thought for sure that today would be a total meltdown.  My period is due today or tomorrow and my temperature has dropped as of this morning, but I’m hoping that the horrible sleep I got last night has something to do with it.  Although, even with the drop, it’s still higher than it has ever been before at this point in my cycle.

We had a very negative test at 5am when I just couldn’t hold it anymore.  (I usually temp at 6:30.  Maybe another reason for the temperature drop?).  But we’re only 10 days past ovulation, so it could definitely be too soon to test.  Or it really is negative.  Negative. Negative.

I’ve never ever ever ever seen a positive pregnancy test, so it wasn’t horribly surprising to me to see the negative.

BUT that won’t stop me from peeing on my arsenal of home pregnancy tests over the next couple days.

You know you probably have an infertility problem when you buy a different brand of pregnancy tests every time you go grocery shopping. 😉

 

I suppose my major question is for you ladies who have taken clomid before is: Were your cycles longer than usual on your failed rounds or were they the same length they always were?

 

Progesterone – Beasted

My Dr. emailed me my blood test results from last week so I could see the levels.  31.  31. 31. 31. 31. 31. 31.

My progesterone is at a 31.  Without supplements.  My uterus is a beast. 15 or more is ideal.  =)

Also…

We are rocking this cycle. =)

Blood Testing

I got my blood test results Thursday.  The nurse said my progesterone levels are perfect and that I definitely ovulated.  She told me to call “when” my period starts or “if” I get to cycle day 35.  I have my doubts, lady.

I’m starting to think I hate progesterone almost as much as I hated clomid.  I feel horrible today.  It makes me wonder if my progesterone levels were bad all of my past cycles.  Maybe this is the first cycle that my progesterone is up at a normal level and my body is just not handling it very well?  I don’t know.  I’m exhausted.  I’ve been sleeping like a rock the past few nights (which is really unusual), falling asleep early, and napping briefly in the afternoon.

I’m so ready for this to be over.  Anyone who takes things further than clomid has my undying respect.  10 more days to go.  Someone please remind me that this will be worth it in the end.  Right?
In 2 weeks, Jeremy and I will be frolicking through Toronto and then Niagra Falls.  One way or another, I will definitely need that vacation.

Return of the Garden

Last Friday, we pulled the plastic off the garden.  It got left on for 3 weeks partially because I was worried it wasn’t done cooking and partially because we hadn’t had time to till.

I moved the coneflowers, chives, oregano, and lavender, we rented a huge tiller for 4 hours, and then we Jeremy got to work.   We used black plastic this year instead of clear and left it out there for a lot longer.  It worked so well!  It’s been 5 days and we haven’t seen the return of a single weed.

I finished mapping my rows out and mulching my walkways yesterday. I added my tomato/tomatillo cages and built my strawberry bed out of reclaimed bricks.

We have a frost warning until tomorrow morning, but I’m hoping to get out and start planting Friday. 🙂

Meanwhile, I’m off to get some blood work done. yay…

11 Questions

Jenn from Future Fords tagged me in this fun 11 question game.  My blog and so many others who write about their trying to conceive adventures (misadventures?) tend to consist of words and phrases like “ovulation,” “infertility,” “trying to conceive,” “peeing on a stick,”…. you get the point.  So it’s nice to have an opportunity to learn more about the gals who’s blogs I read.

Plus, at 1 dpo (day 18 no less… thanks for nothing, Clomid) I have nothing else to talk about. 😉

Here are the rules:

1. Post the rules.
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.
3. Create 11 new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged.
4. Tag 11 people and link them to your post.
5. Let them know you’ve tagged them.

And here are your 11 questions:

1. What is your all-time favorite food?

Honestly, I don’t have one.  Lame?  Yep.  I’m not big on food.  If it sounds good at the time, I’ll eat it.  I don’t have a favorite.  I do love fruits and vegetables though.  And I’ll never turn down a good piece of apple pie. 🙂

2. If you went to college, what was your major? If not, what was your favorite subject in high school?

I went to Roosevelt University in Chicago, Illinois and majored in English.  Sometimes I wish I would have picked something more interesting like anthropology or sociology, but I definitely appreciate the skills I learned while studying English and literature.  =)

3. If you could change one thing about your physical appearance, what would it be?

Honestly?  I have the hardest time keeping the weight off my lower stomach and “love handles.”  If I could change anything, it would be to slim down in those areas.

4. Beach or mountains?

Beach.  I love sleeping on beaches, reading on beaches, playing on beaches, thinking on beaches, eating on beaches, relaxing on beaches….  If I could change the name of this blog to “From My Beach” I totally would.

5. What is your favorite color?

Fuchsia.  I even managed to incorporate it into our wedding after Jeremy insisted on no pink. 😉

I love those dresses. I wish I would have gotten myself one. 😉

Although, I have been developing an affinity for purple in the past few years.  My office has been purple in the last two places we’ve lived and I don’t think I could have it any other way.  

6. How tall are you?

5 feet 7 inches.  Just tall enough to need to buy my pants in “longs”, but too short to do anything exciting. 😉

7. If you could go any one place in the world (money is not a factor) where would you choose to go?

Jeremy and I have talked about this before and I have never had a good answer.  I have so many places I want to go, but I don’t know that any of them rank over the others.
I would love to tour all of Europe.  LOVE.  Spending a few days in as many major cities as possible would be wonderful.  But then I would also love to tour Egypt, India, Mexico, Australia, Russia…    

8. Who is the biggest role model in your life?

This is another hard one.  If I had to choose someone, I think I would choose my mom and my older sister.  They’ve both managed to make the most of some less than ideal situations.  While we don’t always see eye to eye, I have to respect the way they’ve taken care of themselves and their families. 🙂   They’ve both given me some great advice over the years and made me think long and hard about some important decisions. 

9. When you die, how do you want to be remembered?

Being useful.  I don’t ever want to feel like I haven’t had some kind of positive influence on the world we live in.  I want to be remembered as a good teacher, a good neighbor, a good friend, a good wife, a good daughter, a good sister, and, someday, a good mom.  

10. Do you have a favorite quote? If so, what is it?

I have so many favorite quotes and they seem to change all the time.  I think one I try to utilize every day is by John Greenleaf Whittier: “For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, “It might have been.””  This quotation is up there with “Seize the Day” and all of that jazz.  It has meant different things to me at different points in my life so far.  It reminds me to follow through on my commitments, to try new things, and to try to live with no regrets.

11. Make up your own question!

  What are you doing today?

Currently?  I’m inhaling a piece of chocolate pie my mom sent home with us after Easter dinner yesterday.  Yum!  After that I’m in crazy mode while I try to get a custom wholesale tug toy order finished, a wholesale collar order started, and prep for the Oak Park Earth Fest in a couple weeks.  Also, my mom and I are getting pedicures later.  Because we can and Jeremy is working late. 😉  There will also be intermittent “Little Rock, Arkansas” research going on when I need a break. (More on that later this week.  Anyone been there and have opinions?)

Sooo those are my 11 questions.  Now to tag 11 others…

1.  Get in My [Lemon] Belly

2.  Photography by JDesigns

3.  Our Wish for a Baby

4.  Verbal Vixens Very Verbose Vomit

5.  Snickolette

6.  Everything I Want to Be

7.  Journey to Becoming a Mummy

8.  Tales from a Photobox

9.  Making Babies on the NHS

10.  Bangkok Baby Project

11.  The Soda Pop Shop

Since Jenn wrote such good questions and I’m running late today,  I’m going to ask you some of the same questions she asked me 😉 :

1. What do you do for a living?  Do you enjoy it or is it just a way to pay the bills?

2. If you went to college, what was your major? If not, what was your favorite subject in high school?

3. What are the worst and best dates you’ve ever been on?

4. Beach or mountains?

5. What is your favorite color?

6. Do you have any pets?

7. If you would have won the $656 million Mega Millions jackpot last week, what would you have done with all of that money?

8. Who is the biggest role model in your life?

9. When you die, how do you want to be remembered?

10. Do you have a favorite quote? If so, what is it?

11. What are you doing today?