37: HERE WE GO!

Yes.  It’s starting.  This is our IVF cycle.  I’ve never been so excited to take a birth control pill in my whole life.  I’m eyeballing the box and waiting waiting waiting until bedtime tomorrow to pry it open.  Woohoo!

In other news, we took our Christmas decorations down.  We put our tree up before our furniture was delivered, which means we set up around the tree… I’m in dire need of another bookshelf, so I think this calls for a road trip to Charlotte, NC this week to visit their Ikea.  I’m soooo used to having one 25 minutes away (hence why my entire house is made up of Ikea furniture;) ) and this whole 2 hours away thing is throwing me for a loop.  BUT, it’s going to keep me occupied for most of a full day, which is an excellent thing right now. 🙂

Have I mentioned that I’m bored?  I’m trying really hard to keep busy, but I miss working.  (What?!).  My house is mostly clean and dinner gets made every night.  I’m sewing up a storm.  And I’ve gotten a ton of reading done.  But I’m really starting to miss teaching and leaving the house on a regular basis.  Although I can tell the greyhounds enjoy having someone home most of the time.  And I am enjoying getting projects done that I’ve been putting off.  I’m trying to look at it like a mini, stress relieving vacation before IVF.  If this goes well, I might never go back to teaching.  And it will be so worth it. 🙂

Follicle, Oh, Follicle

Well.  We’re back to it again.

Yesterday morning, I woke up with a knot it my stomach.  It was my first monitoring appointment in 3 cycles at Dr. B’s.  What would we find?  Had all of the chiropractic work done anything?  I snuggled in bed with the greyhounds for half an hour instead of eating breakfast and fixing my hair.  Ponytails at the RE’s office are cool, right?

I met up with a friend who just had her first IVF transfer a week and a half ago.  She was getting her first beta done (I’M SO EXCITED!!) and waited while I had a very romantic Valentine’s Day date with the ultrasound probe.  We found a 15mm follicle on day 12 with my estrogen at only 83.  My uterine lining is a little thin, so I’m now taking baby asprin once a day on top of my other supplements.

I don’t know how I feel about this.  To make it easier, I had just started to think we were just going through the fertility treatment rounds before we finally made it to adopting our take home baby.  I’ve been really excited about this adoption lately and far less sad about my infertility than usual.  Knowing my body is still responding and hasn’t completely shut down my reproductive organs made me stop and reexamine my feelings.  When let myself think it really wasn’t an option to have biological kids, I forgot how much I want them.  Getting caught up in this “maybe” or “what if” is really making me feel so conflicted.  And I know, it doesn’t really matter how I feel.  Either we’ll get pregnant within the next few months, or we won’t.  If we don’t, we’ll adopt.  That’s the plan.  Either way, we get a baby.  It’s just throwing me for a loop to get back into it and to know if we’re close to a pregnancy or not.

Anywho, I go back on Monday to recheck if this adorable follicle has made enough progress and if my estrogen is where it should be.  We’ve agreed to trigger with an ovidrel injection if my Lh levels are too low and everything else looks good.  It will still be a later than preferred ovulation (day 16 or 17), but it’s an ovulation.  I’m worried they’re going to tell us to cancel the cycle because my estrogen is so low.  Crossing my fingers that it rockets up to 150+ by Monday.

And for an “awwww” factor, here’s Snow White being more adorable than my follicle. 😉

 

Hope everyone has a nice weekend!

26: Unmedicated Monitoring

I made these last night.  I’ve been eyeballing this pattern for the past 2 years.  I always said the first time I made these would be for my own baby.  I say that about a lot of knit baby things.  Last night, I decided to take some leftover yarn and leftover buttons and see what happened with this pattern.  I love them.  I might save them for our baby.  Or I might give them to the next friend who gets pregnant.  We’ll see how I’m feeling when that happens. Click here for the pattern.

My period started early this morning giving cycle 25 exactly 30 days.  There was enough time to actually get pregnant, I just didn’t.  I’ll call Dr. B’s office in the morning and we’ll start monitoring all over again.  My veins are not looking forward to it.  I bruise far to easily when it comes to blood draws.

We’re seriously considering our third IUI in March or April.  Even if my body is healing.  I want this horrible horrible time to be over.  If that doesn’t work, we’ll save for a fourth and maybe even a fifth.

It snowed here this weekend.  Finally.  We’ve hardly had any snow this winter.  Skill Set and Snow White had never gotten to play in the snow off of their leashes.   Yesterday, we took them to the dog park and let them run and goof off in the snow.  They loved it. 🙂

Lost Greyhound?!

Tuesday had the potential to be one of the worst days of my life.

After working on my lesson plans all morning, I stopped to take a break to take the dogs out and spend a few minutes with them.  Our backyard isn’t fenced in yet.  That means whenever we take the dogs out, they have their martingale collars and leashes on.  When greyhounds run, they run fast and they don’t stop.  They’re the second fastest land mammal after the cheetah.

We’re still working on potty training with Snow White, so we usually let Skill Set in and keep her out a little longer.  While I was walking back in with Snow White, Skill Set slipped past me and out the back door.  Without his leash.  He ran towards the front of the house.  By the time I got there, he was gone.

When we adopted both greyhounds, we got a copy of a Lost Greyhound flyer.  I assumed we would never have to make copies of it.  The first thing I did was call our adoption rep who lives a few blocks away.  She came right over and drove around the few blocks nearest our house.  After 10 minutes, she left to call in more greyhound owners.  Greyhounds flock to other greyhounds.  I called my sister, my mother-in-law, my mom, and Jeremy.  My sister and mother-in-law hurried right over to help look while I called the police and Animal Control and started making flyers.  We live right by a busy highway with a large wooded area right beyond that.  If he got into the trees, it might be days before we would find him.  If he got hit by a car, he might never come home.  After getting a bit hysterical, Snow White and I started walking, handing a flyer to everyone we saw, and yelling his name.  We knocked on our neighbor’s doors and asked them to keep an eye out for him.  My sister and mother-in-law started driving through our neighborhood again.  And then they branched out.  He could have been anywhere, even miles away.

Only about an hour after he got out, my sister called to say she found him in a subdivision north of our house trotting down a sidewalk.  He hopped right into her car and she brought him right home.  He was safe and uninjured.

We are so lucky.  So lucky that he ran north instead of west onto the highway.  So lucky that he’s so personable and didn’t run away from her.  So lucky that he didn’t run farther.  So lucky that my sister went down that exact street when she did.  So lucky he was only missing for an hour.

I should have been so mad at him, but all I wanted to do was hug him and keep him near me.  He was so tired the rest of the day.  These dogs are our babies in such a different way than the cats are.  They require so much more care and attention and I’m more than willing to give it to them.  I never would have forgiven myself if something had happened to him.

The new rules mean Skilly has to be locked up in another room or in his crate if we take Snow White outside without him and all leashes stay on until every door is shut tight.  We are, without a doubt, putting a fence up in the spring.    ❤

Chiropractic Infertility Treatment

I LOVE this graphic.  I found it on pinterest and can’t find the source.  But I just thought it was so perfect.

  Still waiting on my period to start.  I’ve had a little spotting off and on, but nothing more yet.  Of course.  If it starts today, or even tomorrow, we still have a shot at an IUI this month.  BUT, I finally made another appointment with Dr. B.  We haven’t seen him since the end of our monitoring cycle in August and I just really need to know where we’re at and what he thinks.

I want to pick his brain about a diagnosis.  Will he want to do a lap?  I’m just not content with his wait and see/ conservative approach and I want to know why my cycles continue to be so wonky despite the huge amounts of extra hormones we’re pumping into my body.  So we go see him again two weeks from yesterday.

I also made an appointment with a local chiropractor to get my uterus, my hips, and my lower back checked.  My cousin and her husband are chiropractors and really advocate using adjustments to keep the whole body healthy.  I chatted with her last night about it and she said there are a lot of connections between your hips, lower back, and uterus.  I wish I could go see them, but they live in Grand Rapids. 😦 I’m going to see this guy on Saturday morning.  I’ve always had a lot of hip and lower back pain, so maybe there’s something to this.   Any tips or personal experiences about chiropractic infertility treatments?

In other news, I’m pushing through final projects.  One week from tonight and I’ll be done for the semester!  I’m drinking too much coffee and not getting nearly enough sleep.  And I’m definitely not eating well.  Prenatal vitamins?  Oopsies…  Thank goodness we took this cycle off.

On Tuesday, Snow White had her first vet appointment.  It went well.  Afterwards, we met my sister and her goldendoodle, Mr. Smith, at the dog park so the cousins could play together.  Snow White never stops running. 😉

It’s finally cooling down here (again).  The greyhounds are back in their jackets when we go outside.  And they’ve both fallen in love with our wood burning fireplace. 😉

 

 

COME ONNNN, WINTER BREAK!!

I was listening to the radio this morning while I was running errands and they were talking about the best places in the world to be pregnant and have a baby in terms of comfort, safety, and cost.  Not surprisingly, the US didn’t even make the top ten.  At the top of the list was Switzerland followed by Australia.  Bébé Suisse and Laughing Promises, I’m coming to live with you when we get pregnant. 😉

Nothing new here.  I’m taking advantage of feeling good this cycle by getting things done around the house and finishing all of my final projects (aka consuming lots of caffeine).  I’d forgotten how good it is to feel normal.  Not injecting myself or popping pills all month has been glorious.

I’m waiting anxiously for my period to start now.  If it starts before Friday, we should be able to go ahead with our 3rd IUI in December.  If it starts anywhere from December 8 through December 12, we will probably have to wait until January.  As much as I’ve enjoyed this month off, I would like to get this show on the road.  Especially because I’ll be on winter break for December’s IUI and won’t have to worry about getting things done.  I can be free to obsess about my angry uterus.

I am 1  2 minute movie creation about community and school politics, 1 power point on the same topic, 6 final lesson plans, 1 two page paper about school observations, 1 essay annotation, 4 tutoring hours, and 1 final exam away from winter break.  I am so ready for this.

We took advantage of Chicago’s 60 degree weather yesterday and put our Christmas lights on the house.  It looks so pretty. =)

Also, I finished Skill Set’s Christmas jacket.  Although, since it’s supposed to get to 70 degrees today, I’m not sure he’s going to get to wear it this year..

Release the Hounds!

Life feels full right now.  It isn’t dragging.  It’s full enough that I’m able to ignore the ache in my heart that something is missing.  Is that good?

We did the right thing adopting Snow White.  She’s more stubborn than Skill Set (which I didn’t think was possible).  She’s more strong willed.  She’s more affectionate.  She’s more of a puppy.  They work so well together.  They compliment each other nicely.  He has become her older brother.  He’s her protector, her playmate, her teacher.

If we never have kids, I think I could feel some form of contentment with my four-legged family.

I’ve been thinking more lately as well that becoming a teacher mean being responsible for hundreds of kids on any given day.  Kids who are smart and mouthy, shy and nervous, broken and unloved.  Teaching allows me to be involved in the lives of children, even if they’re not my own.  It allows me to make a positive difference in the world, even if it’s indirect.  Teaching makes me feel like I’m accomplishing something, even if I can’t ever be a mom.

This is why I’ve chosen this profession.  This is also why I love it more and more everyday.  I still ache for our children, but my life is finally moving forward.

Snow White

Who needs babies when you fill your house with greyhounds and cats? 😉

We met Snow White today.  She’s awesome.  They let us take her home today too. 🙂  Skill Set is nervous, but happy.  The cats are debating killing us all in our sleep.  Life is good.

IUI #1

IUI #1 starts in 9 hours.  Yikes.  I shot myself up with ovidrel around 1:30 this afternoon.  My uterine lining looks perfect, I have a 22.5 mm follicle, and my estrogen is at 247.  Things look more perfect than they ever have, but I’m remaining skeptical for the next week… The second week, however, I’m fully planning on getting my hopes up. 😉

I’m planning on coming home from Dr. B’s tomorrow and sleeping the entire day until I have to go to class in the evening.  Because I can.  And because I don’t want to think about what might be going on inside my body… Or even worse, what might not be going on.

I’ll update later this week or on the weekend.  There’s no hurry, right?  I have two weeks to go over and over and over what’s going to happen in the morning.

I’m also going to leave you with a picture of what my dog is doing right now.  Never mind that his HUGE dog bed is sitting right next to him.  The cat bed was so much more appealing.  He does this nightly.  It never fails to make us laugh.  This dog is the biggest stress reducer on the planet.  (Don’t mind the lack of closet doors.  The house didn’t come with them and we haven’t gotten around to replacing them yet. 🙂 )

 

Hesitant Updates…

I’ve been so hesitant to post anything fertility related lately, because it seems like every time I post something hopeful, my period starts just a few hours later…  BUT, I wanted to give an update because I’ll probably be a little out of touch this next weekend.

Tomorrow morning is our official test date.  I’ve been tempted to cheat all week, but I chickened out.  I would have taken one this morning, but I had to leave the house at 6:30 and knew I wouldn’t be home until 9:30 tonight.  I didn’t want to find out and then have a day like that.  So we decided to listen to Dr B and wait until tomorrow, which will be day 32 (14 or 15 days past ovulation) of my cycle.  If you remember, last cycle wasn’t even 24 days, so this is an improvement.   I’m still taking progesterone twice a day, and I still hate it.

I’m suddenly breaking out like a teenager (which didn’t make me feel better about starting my high school observations today…), and am more bloated than I’ve ever been– but surprisingly, I don’t feel bad really.  I just feel really tired.  Most of the time.

But, we’re going through life right now assuming this isn’t going to be our month.  We’ve been too busy and I’ve been too active.  We haven’t talked about any “What if’s” and I haven’t really looked at anything baby related for a couple weeks.  I don’t think I’ll be devastated when this cycle doesn’t work.  Keeping busy really is helping.

School is feeling overwhelming– getting back into the swing of things is harder than I expected.  Unpacking is getting there, but slowly due to school and being exhausted.  PLUS, Skill is coming home on Friday evening!  So we’ve been prepping and getting ready for him.  We’ve bought almost everything we need for him and are just waiting on a few things to come in the mail.

I won’t leave you hanging if we get a positive tomorrow or Friday.  But if you don’t hear from me, assume I’m off spending quality time with our new family member and have nothing exciting to report. 🙂