Drug of Champions.

While awaiting the arrival of my period this week, I swore at it multiple times that it should stop screwing around and just start already.  Thank goodness it didn’t.

After Jeremy’s AMAZING urology appointment thismorning, I stopped by the OB/GYN department to leave a message for my doctor.  She didn’t want to start clomid unless Jeremy had some super awesome test results.  He had some super awesome test results.  I won’t gross you out bore you with the details, but even our usually stoic urologist was impressed by the improvement.

I start clomid on Monday.  Had my period started 2 days earlier, I probably would have had to wait until next month to start it.  While a month isn’t all that much in the grand scheme of things, I’m anxious to get this show on the road.

I’m so happy that Jeremy doesn’t have to worry about anything now.  While I’m still waging war on how I feel about my unexplained, failure of a reproductive system, I’m happy to be trying something new.  I feel like we have a chance this month.

Soooo, 5 days of clomid, untold side effects, and a blood draw in 19 days.  I’m all over this.  I will beast this cycle. Beast.

15 Down… ? To Go…

15 Months.

Despite starting a new cycle today, it’s not been a bad day.  I’ve known for a couple days that this month wasn’t our month, but I’ve had so many good things going on today, that I couldn’t have asked for a better day for it to start.

I had lunch with the ladies I used to teach with in Bolingbrook.  When I took over the Downers Grove ESL class a couple months ago, it was really abrupt.  I never got to go back to say goodbye to my students or the other instructors, and I found myself really missing all of them.  They’re all significantly older than I am, but we really enjoy each other’s company. 🙂  I had a really nice time with them.
They brought a card from the Bolingbrook students.  They all signed it and some even wrote messages.  There were a lot of “I miss you”s and “good luck”s, but the one that stood out the most was from Guadalupe.  She wrote, “Smile Yessica Forever.”  Keep smiling, be as happy as you can be. That’s an amazing thing to remember, especially these days when it doesn’t feel like I have a lot to smile about.

In ESL today, we talked about idioms, contractions (they think contractions are silly, and I have to say I agree 😉 ), negative sentences and we read a story about winning the lottery.  Part of our activity was to make a list of what everyone in class would do if they won the lottery.  Trips to Disney World, Las Vegas, and Brazil, world cruises, houses, shopping sprees, and airplanes (with lessons) all got added to our list.  It was so much fun to hear the things they wanted in life.  They all want to spend more time with their families, one of them wanted to buy houses for all of the families in the village in Mexico she is from, and another just wanted to send her kids to college.  These students lift my spirits every week.  They’re always so eager to learn what I have to tell them.  They make me so grateful to be able to teach them.  I don’t think it’s a coincidence that my period almost always starts on a Thursday…

Jeremy’s urology appointment is at 9:20 tomorrow morning.  I’m nervous.  I’m so incredibly nervous.  I’m terrified of the drugs that come next, of the procedures that might come next.  The whole thing just makes me sick to my stomach.

But, I’m taking my brothers to see The Hunger Games tonight at midnight.  Hopefully that will prove to be a wonderful distraction. 😉

Today…

… I am an angry, emotional basket case.  Hormones?! What. is. up?  Someone make it stop…  

 

Distraction Camping

Friday afternoon, Jeremy and I decided to take a random camping trip.  We had never been camping together and it had been years and years since either one of us had been camping at all.  BUT, I didn’t want to waste the weather and was looking for some good distractions.

Friday night found us racing around Aurora borrowing camping equipment from our parents and stocking up on food.

On Saturday morning, we got up and got ready to go.  We headed to Starved Rock, which is about an hour and fifteen minutes southwest of us.  I’ve been hiking there before (a million years ago) and Jeremy had never been there.

We got into the campgrounds and had our tent up by 1:30 or so.  Then we did some hiking.  And found out that we’re horribly out of shape. 😉

Owl Canyon kicked our butts.

More specifically, getting out of Owl Canyon kicked our butts.

We got out eventually and headed back to camp to start a fire for our dinner.  We made some yummy tin foil veggies and steak. (A big no-no in our fertility diets, but he’s been begging for something other than chicken ;)).

The rest of the evening was really nice.  We made biscuits on sticks for dessert and relaxed in front of our fire.  We didn’t do any reading or play any cards.  We just sat and enjoyed the silence.  While sitting in front of our fire, I realized I had gone almost the entire day without thinking about babies.  I usually think about babies, infertility, ovulation, my period, or some combination of those 12+ hours a day.  It was so nice to go so long without wondering, over thinking, and hurting about it.

Then we went to bed.  And I remembered why I never go camping.  I find it absolutely terrifying to sleep in the middle of the woods.  There are all kinds of animals and crazy people out there. 😉  Over-active imagination?  You betcha.   Soooo, from 10:30 to 12:30 I pretended to read and jumped at every little thing outside of our tent (note to self: put nice smelling face wipes in the car so small animals stay FAR away…).  Meanwhile, Jeremy was snoozing away.  12:30 to 3:30 found me dozing off and on, but still jumping at small animals.  Then at 3:30 something horrible happened: I had to pee.  Outside.  In the woods.  In the middle of the night.  I beasted that and found it more pleasant outside than it was in the tent.  Whatevs, back inside I went.  Coyotes started singing at 4 am, which was pretty neat.  Jeremy woke up at 6:30am and so did the wild turkeys.  I LOVE while turkeys.  I can’t help but laugh when I hear them.  🙂

And then it started pouring.  So we packed up and went home. Not the ideal end to a camping trip, but it could have been so much worse and it served as the best distraction I could have asked for.

We’re planning to go again soon.  We learned a lot of “what not to do’s” on this trip, so hopefully we’ll be more prepared next time. 🙂  And I swear to get more sleep next time.  And to bring a sweatshirt.

Ps.  Did I ever tell you that Jeremy is Canadian? ^Check out that picture.  That would make our babies half Canadian and half American.  Remember when I said I wasn’t going to buy anything baby related anymore?  I lied a little bit…

It came in the mail on Friday.  It was too perfect to pass up. 🙂  My heart is really aching today for a baby to put it on

Urologist in 4 days.

Spring Fever

It’s 78 degrees and partly cloudy outside right now.  There’s the slightest breeze.  It could stay like this all summer and I would be perfectly fine with it.  I donned my bikini top and shorts and am working on my first sunburn of the year.  😉  Spring Fever to the max.

I’ve started working on my garden.  I missed my garden like crazy all winter.  I’ve decided it’s one of my favorite things to do.  Every time Jeremy applies to a job in a climate that will let me garden year round, a part of me always hopes he get it. 😉

My goal is to never use any chemicals in the garden.  Last year, with the exception of the scary ant invasion, I succeeded.  This includes weed killer.  Last year I used a sheet of clear plastic to cook the weeds and grass in the area I wanted to garden in.  My reasoning on using clear was that it would magnify the sun and make it too hot for the weeds to survive.  It worked really well, but this year I wanted to experiment with black plastic.  In theory, it should get really hot under there, right? So, I stopped at Home Depot on my way home from ESL class yesterday to pick up some black plastic.  1000 square feet of it to be exact.

I finished my garden plans the other night and am planning on using around half of this space.  My mother-in-law is going to take over the second half and we’re going to have ourselves a huge AWESOME garden! 🙂

Another thing we’re working on this year is planting things that will draw pollinating bugs to the garden.  I have coneflowers, dill, and lavender already, but the other night I ordered zinnias and a blueberry bush.  I think it’s going to be neat to see a vegetable garden with flowers mixed in. 🙂

One week until the urologist.  I’m trying not to go crazy in the meantime… Have an awesome weekend!

Here’s an updated post after we took the plastic off.

4 things…

4 things…

1. Aloe juice/pills are linked to improved male infertility.  Helloooooo, Amazon…  Sorry, Jeremy, more supplements. 😉

2. The longer this first baby takes to get here, the more of them I want… How does 3 sound? 4 sound? 😉

3. My temperature dipped and went back up… Getting hopeful?  You betcha.

4. 58 and sunny in Aurora, IL.  My spearmint is growing back. 

The Big “O”…

And by “O”, of course I mean ovulation.  😉

One of the main things we’ve been working on through my acupuncture appointments is to regulate my cycle.  Our goal is to get it to be as perfect as it can be.  Ovulating at day 19 and then having a 9-12 day luteal phase is not perfect.  Last month, day 17 was the magic number followed by 12 days of waiting.

I think I have proof, however, that acupuncture is really and truly altering my cycle.  Other than the crazy short and light period I recently had, this month, I managed to ovulate on day 12. 12. 12. 12. 12. 12.  For the first time since I started charting. 12. And of course, we were totally not ready for it.  I hadn’t started using my opk’s yet, as it’s a week earlier than I normally ovulate.  I think it’s safe to assume this month will be a wash.  I’m disappointed that we may have wasted a cycle, but at the same time, I think I needed a little break. It’s been a long 14 months.  Now I know for next month that I need to start keeping a closer eye on things.
Of course, next month could very well include clomid (YIKES!), and then it’s going to be all kinds of crazy.

Meanwhile, our weekend was good.  We went back to Oak Park for breakfast on Saturday.  We went to breakfast at The Buzz Cafe every Sunday when we lived there.  It’s been over a year since we’d last eaten there together.

Yum!

They have the BEST pancakes. Mmmm!  The rest of the weekend was really relaxed.  I worked in the garden (the weather in Chicago has been so wonderful!) and on the quilting of my very first quilt.

I only have 13 more squares to do.  The end is in sight! 😉  I’m really getting the hang of my free motion quilting foot.  You can see my progress from the first square I did to the most recent one.  I totally regret choosing this pattern as my first quilt though.  Appliques are no fun.  In a couple years, I wouldn’t mind making this again and seeing how much I’ve improved.  I’ll post a picture when it’s finished.  Hopefully this week. 🙂

1.5 weeks until the urologist!

 

On and On and On…

I’m in a good place today.  The temperature in Chicago is supposed to hit 60 degrees.  LOVE it!

The last time I posted, I mentioned burning down my parents’ barn… No, that wasn’t an emotional threat.  It happened. 😉  It was old and unsalvageable, so away it went.

Isn’t the view behind it pretty?  They’re putting a pond in instead.  These fires were massive.  They were so hot it was hard to get close to them.  We didn’t need coats and it was fantastic.  We had fun too.

I call this series "Smooches"

 

In other news, Jeremy and I are the proud new parents of two 8 week old rats.  Yes, rats.  They’re like mini cats, dogs, and bunnies.  They’re adorable!

Roxy and Molly

They live in my office.  We’re still getting used to each other.  When they’re adults, they can weigh up to a pound and a half each.  Woo!  Right now, Roxy weighs 2.8 oz and Molly weighs 2.3 oz.
Last night, I feel like they gave us a glimpse into parenthood.  Molly was sitting on my shoulder and Jeremy said, “I hope we’re not going to screw them up.”  😉  We’re very nervous about getting our baby rats to be super tame.  If we’re nervous about this, how bad is it goes to be when we get an actual human baby?  They give us something to focus on though, something to parents that needs parenting.

We even have feuding siblings! 😉

Meanwhile, Jeremy got his appointment with the urologist moved up to March 23rd.  That’s in 2 1/2 weeks!  We’ll have some definitive answers in 2 1/2 weeks!  I feel like this whole process has been dragging on and on and on and on.  I see the light at the end of the diagnostic tunnel.  The infertility treatment tunnel is on the other side, but we’re coming to the end of a HUGE tunnel.

I’m getting outside today with Alice and Bella.  It’s almost garden season. ❤