Scheduled the Lap.

So I have a little more info than I had on Thursday.  Dr. B called Friday with my TSH results and to tell me more about what would happen next.  We’re still waiting on one more test result, but I’m going to assume if I don’t hear from them about it that it’s all clear.  I would really like it to be all clear.

If my TSH had been high, I would have been diagnosed with hypothyroidism.  Had it been low – hyperthyroidism.  Both options sounded awful.  BUT, despite my thyroglobulin being astronomically high, my TSH results came back completely normal.  Dr. B said I’ll probably have thyroid issues when I get older, but for now it probably isn’t heavily contributing to my infertility.  It’s just something we’ll have to keep an eye on.

As for the Cardiolipin AB, it’s a clotting issue and could stop a baby’s heart if we ever make it to 6 weeks.  As soon as we get pregnant again, he wants to run that test again and will probably put me on a slew of blood thinners to keep things safe.  But, again, nothing to worry about right this second.

My new prenatal will take care of the C677T mutation.  I’m not able to completely absorb and break down folic acid, so the new prenatal uses folate instead.  It’s also florescent yellow and not organic.  Bummer.

All of these things are autoimmune problems.  They’re not major right now, but they’re there.  Dr. B thinks they are almost positively pointing to endometriosis, which is also an autoimmune problem.  So they scheduled my laparoscopic surgery for Friday, April 19.  That obviously depends on the outcome of this cycle, but we’d rather have to cancel it than lose another month while waiting for scheduling to work out.

19 days to go.  I’ve never had surgery like this before.  I’m trying not to be scared.  I know it’s not major surgery.  But still.  It’s surgery.

After 2 slow weeks for two different spring breaks, I’m back to work this week.  I’m looking forward to it.  This week will bring cycle 27 to an end or become something completely terrifying (and hopefully wonderful).  I need any distractions I can get.

Autoimmune Issues

I got most of my autoimmune work up back today.  Very high Thyroglobulin antibodies, indeterminate (but higher than normal) Cardiolipin AB, and one copy of C677T mutation.  Waiting to hear about 2 more tests and about whether or not Dr. B thinks I need to start seeing an Immunologist and whether or not he still wants to perform a lap.  I can’t tell you for certain what these mean.  I do know that the C677T mutation inhibits some of my folic acid absorption and the Thyroglobulin and Cardiolipin contribute to pregnancy loss.  Other than that, Dr. Google is not my friend.  There are too many conflicting answers out there and some of them are too scary.  I’m planning on waiting until the rest of the tests come back and then having Dr. B explain them to me in detail.

I did get switched to a prescription prenatal that has a different kind of folic acid that, in theory, I should be able to break down.  

This is all scary.  I had fully expected these tests to be negative.  I had planned on going through with a lap and had accepted the probability of endometriosis.  I don’t know what this means for the future of our family. I don’t know what this means for my future health.  And the not knowing is terrifying.

My ultrasound did show that my ovaries are clear after ovulation.  Does it even matter though?  Is there any way for this cycle to work?  I have no idea.

More later. 

That Escalated Quickly..

Why yes, Ron Burgundy, yes it did. 😉

I went in for monitoring this morning for my day 14 follicle check.  It was the first check of this cycle and I really wasn’t sure what we’d find since we haven’t been babysitting my follicles like we normally do.  After drawing 7 VIALS OF BLOOD for my autoimmune workup, I headed over to the ultrasound room where we found one very adorable 19 mm follicle sitting pretty on my right ovary.  Not as big as last month, but not a bad size at all.  While they said it depended on how my blood work came back, they were planning on a Friday morning IUI.  Good thing too because my novarel hasn’t come in the mail yet.

Just kidding.  My estrogen came back at 243 with a Lh of 36.  That follicle is ready to go.  Like now.  So we’re heading back bright and early tomorrow morning for IUI #3.  I’m crossing my fingers that UPS doesn’t drop the ball and that my novarel will be here soon.  I have two syringes full of ovidrel in my fridge just in case, but Dr. B is finding his patients are having better success with… intramuscular injections… Oi… My rear end hurts just thinking about what’s in store for it later this evening.

My awesome older sister has volunteered to stab that bad boy in for me since Jeremy can’t guarantee me he won’t choke halfway through.  I appreciate his honestly because.. ow… Although I do secretly wonder if she’s looking forward to stabbing a needle an inch into my butt.  It’s something everyone has secretly dreamed of doing to their siblings, right?  😉  Either way, it’s getting done.  It’s science. 😉

Come on, IUI #3, we’re rooting for you!!

RE Hand Holding.

We met with Dr. B today for the first time since August.  I felt really silly for scheduling this appointment because I didn’t know what I wanted him to tell me.  Well, I do — I wanted him to tell me that everything was fine and for him to really mean it.  But I knew I wasn’t going to get that.  I just knew that I’ve felt so in the dark and so frazzled about what comes next.  You can only do so many IUIs… and then what?

So we sat down with him and before we said anything, he brought up digging deeper to find out what is really wrong with me.  He mentioned the baby we lost in October — he’s the first person in that office to acknowledge that it really was a baby.  He was happy that we had gotten pregnant because it suggests that we could get pregnant again.  But he wondered if there was something going on with either my uterine lining or my antibodies that might be making this more difficult than we originally though.

He threw out two options for the next two steps.  First, he wants to do a autoimmune disorder workup to see if something in my body is attacking embryos.  We’re doing that tomorrow morning when I go in for monitoring. If it comes back positive, we start treating it and go from there.  If it comes back negative, we wait and see if this next IUI works.  If it results in a normal pregnancy, we’re done and everyone lives happily ever after.  If it fails, he’s recommending a laparoscopic surgery to check for endometriosis.  While I don’t have a ton of the symptoms that go along with endo, I do have some, and he told us that many women with endometriosis don’t have any symptoms.  If he finds surface endometriosis during the lap, he’ll clean it up and we should be ready to go for real.  If it’s deep, he’ll clean up what he can and then recommend a couple months of lupron, which pretty much shuts down my reproductive system and sends me into early menopause while my body heals.

He gave this all some thought and definitely had a lot more information for us about endometriosis than an autoimmune problem, so I’m wondering if he’s leaning that way and just doesn’t want to go through with the lap if he doesn’t have to.  I’m thankful for that.  While I know a lap isn’t that big of a deal, it’s still surgery and it’s still scary.  But we want answers and if this is the only way we can get them, then I’m willing.

We did chat with him about what the chiropractor said about a previous pelvis injury pinching nerves and other connections off to my reproductive organs.  He disagrees with their diagnosis and actually thinks the endometriosis (“if it’s there” he says) is pinching and affecting nerves and connections towards my back and is therefore causing my low back and hip pain.  He thinks working with them is just alleviating some of the endo symptoms rather than healing injuries like the chiropractors think.  So we have two doctors with two opposing views.  It’s very much a “which came first?” scenario.  In the end, it doesn’t matter.  I’ll continue with the chiropractors and undergo a lap if needed.  We’ll find out who’s right and deal with the outcome when we get there.

Overall, I’m so glad we went to this appointment.  I forgot how much I love Dr. B.  He never once made me feel like my feelings weren’t justified or that he wasn’t interested in getting to the bottom of this.  We have a hardcore plan in place that will most likely solidify my membership in the infertility club. 😉  I feel taken care of and again I feel like someone other than us is invested in this outcome.  Maybe it’s a little hand holding too, but I’m ok with that.

Monitoring tomorrow morning to decide if our 3rd IUI will be on Thursday or Friday.  My ovaries are sore, so hopefully we have a big, beautiful follicle. 🙂

27: A Natural IUI

Does that sound weird to anyone else?  An IUI is anything but natural, but that’s what we’re calling this cycle.

My body was a rock star last cycle.  You know, other than absolutely failing at getting pregnant.  But that’s neither here nor there.  Dr. B agreed that last cycle was more perfect than anything I’ve ever had on medication, so he wants to try another IUI sans medication this time.  While I like the idea of more follicles, more eggs, and the potential for more babies, I don’t have time to feel as completely awful as those injectables make me feel.

I’ve been battling a nasty cold that just won’t seem to go away.  Right after I posted last Friday morning, I started feeling really bad.  I pushed through, hoping I would start feeling better, but I finally had to cave and take today off.  Since today is technically day 1 of my cycle, I’m also happily taking cold medicine to try to alleviate some symptoms while I try to get some work done.

Last week and this week, I’ve been observing at a high school full of students who intimidate the hell out of me.  This isn’t a normal high school.  It’s a specialized math and science academy.  Students have to be in the top of their class to get in and must have done extremely well on the SAT when they took it at 14.  These students are easily all smarter than I am.  I’ve gotten to teach 2 classes with them and while I’m learning to provide them with discussions that are at their level, I’m thankful I won’t be teaching students like this right off the bat.

Next week, I start substitute teaching.  I’m thankful to have this position and that I can make it as part time or full time as I want.  🙂

Less than two weeks to go until our first monitoring appointment of cycle 27.   Our IUI will definitely fall over my spring break and the following week is spring break for all of the schools around here, so I’ll have two relatively slow weeks in a row to get this show on the road.

Things have been so busy around here and while it feels hectic and crazy, I’m happy to have such huge distractions from everything else.  I haven’t had a lot of time to feel sad or to wonder what we’re going to do next.  It’s nice.  I’m going to try to keep packing my schedule full because it just makes for a happier everyday life.

4:30 am!!

When it came to progesterone, my symptoms were always the same:  sore boobs, epic bloat, dizziness, extreme fatigue, etc.  The month I got pregnant, all of those symptoms just got even stronger.

What are my symptoms this time?  Epic bloat and sleeplessness.  SLEEPLESSNESS.  That’s it.  I’ve been awake at exactly 4.30 am every morning this week.  I’ve also been observing and teaching all week.  I’m not sure I’m making any sense anymore.

What happened to all of my other symptoms?  What does that mean?  Today is cycle day 27 and we’re 11 days past ovulation.  We’re also 2 pregnancy tests down (negative of course).

Exhausted.  Irritated.  SOOO completely done with this.