The Power of Positive Knitting

What have I been doing lately?  Knitting.  Baby knitting.

While buying onesies and miniature socks is one thing, baby knitting is completely different.  Buying ready made clothing can be done on a whim.  It can be done without much effort and time.  Baby knitting, however, requires more time and energy.  A lot more.

My chiropractor recently told me that I need to start being more positive.  She told me that our babies are in “escrow” and that I need to think like my future is going to include them.  I guess it’s the power of positive thinking or something.  Is there anything more positive than knitting a baby sweater and matching booties?  No.  There isn’t.  Unless I started painting the nursery… No.  No, I haven’t…. yet.

I can always replace the buttons if we have a little girl who just doesn’t appreciate centurion soldiers.

An unexpected surprise that is attached to these?  I upload all of my hand knits to my Ravelry account (which is also where you can find both of these patterns). -Side note: if you knit or crochet and aren’t on Ravelry, you’re missing out.  In the description, I explained that these were for our future baby blah blah blah.  Apparently the sweater showed up on a popular page somewhere on Ravelry and I got a few messages from some nice women around the world just to let me know that we’re not alone and that it gets better.

Infertility community, you blow my mind sometimes. I seem to get the messages I need at all the right times. 🙂

Other than this, I’m feeling good.  I’m having just a little bit a residual pain in my right ovary, but I’m guessing that’s not necessarily a bad thing.  I’m going to try to focus on all the school work I have going on over the next couple weeks and see what happens. 🙂

As another side note: I think my chiropractor also said something about not thinking about babies and just letting things happen… but I’m not sure.  I blame it on my selective hearing. 😉

Ps.  I’ve decided to keep the green booties from this post. Because I can.  And they’re so gosh darn cute.

25: Goodbye Pain

We’ve been with the chiropractor for about a month now and I think I can truly say that it’s working.  No, we’re not pregnant (we didn’t even try this past cycle), but I feel a huge difference in my body…

I used to go to bed at night with my lower back and hips just aching.  It would take me a while to fall asleep every night because of it.  Nothing really relieved it.  A couple weeks ago, I noticed that I was getting into bed at night and falling right asleep.  I didn’t have any more pain in my hips or my lower back.  I’m not sure when it happened, it might have been gradual, but I definitely notice it now.  It’s great. 🙂

I felt myself ovulate this month.  On my own.  On day 14.  On my own.  I felt it.  On day 14.  On my own.  Did I mention it was on DAY 14?  Not day 19 or 17 or 21.  14.  Plus I had a host of other fertile signs that I’ve only ever read about.  Winning.

Finalllllyyy, my period started today.  Making my cycle last exactly 28 days.  What the what?!  Maybe this is all coincidental, but I’m feeling confident that Dr G and Dr G are really helping me.  Plus the plethora of vitamins they have me on has my skin SO clear.  More clear than it’s been on any medication.  We’re feeling good.  We’re feeling hopeful.

Until someone else announces their pregnancy that they just sort of thought about having…  Or didn’t think about.. I hate people.

They’ve officially told us not to try, but to not prevent anything either.  25 months and counting.

In other news, grad classes start in 2 weeks, my ESL class starts back up (hopefully) in 2 weeks, and tutoring starts in a week and a half.  I’m so ready for things to get going again.

I plopped my application to start substitute teaching in the mail on Wednesday.  Super exciting, right? 😉  My spring is shaping up to be nice and busy.

I’m also desperate to start gardening again… And since it’s supposed to be in the 40’s next week, I’m wondering how long we’ll have to wait. 🙂

Winter Break and Chiro Updates

Welll, finals are over and winter break is finally here.  I’m more than ready for this chance to relax and work on some projects around the house that have been put off since we moved in.  Our goal over winter break is to get the pantry/laundry room put together.

I LOVE my laundry room.  It’s right off the kitchen and makes doing laundry so crazy convenient.  BUT, the room itself is poorly utilized.  There’s a built in desk, a shelf above the washer/dryer, and a couple cabinets sitting on the floor.  There’s a TON of wall space just begging for shelving.  While we don’t necessarily need the extra space, it’s silly to not use it.  Hopefully we’ll need it eventually.  We’re also going to put a door up.  Right now, you can see right into it from the dinning room.  The water softener is not the most attractive appliance we own.

I’m hoping to start working on that as soon as we get home from Christmas — we’re going to my mom and step dad’s cabin on the 24th and staying until the 26th or 27th.  I was originally apprehensive about going away for Christmas, but the idea is growing on me.  I haven’t woken up on Christmas morning with both of my sisters in 8 or 9 years, so it will be special.  That was one of the things I missed most after I got married, but I wanted Jeremy and I to do our own thing Christmas mornings, to start our own traditions.  Throw in the fact that my birthday is on Christmas and things get all kinds of complicated. 😉

Which brings me to… 25.  A week from tomorrow and I’ll be turning 25. It’s my golden birthday.  I’m feeling better about my birthday this year than I did last year.  I’m assuming it’s because life is more on track and has the potential to be so much more.  I still have no desire to celebrate.  I used to love my birthday and planning birthday events, but it seems like a waste of time now.  It’s a reminder that someone is missing.  Maybe I’ll change my mind next week and plan a belated birthday party, but maybe not.  Last Christmas was excruciating.  I’m crossing my fingers that this year will be better.

Some new news on the chiropractic front.  I met with Dr. G’s wife — Dr. G 😉 — and I think she’s becoming my primary chiropractor.  Which is fine with me.  She’s super sweet and is obviously a wealth of knowledge.  She’s got me on a crazy overload of vitamins because she thinks I’m horribly deficient in almost everything.  I’ve been taking a prenatal vitamin for more than 2 years now, but she’s doubled that on top of everything else she prescribed.  She thinks she can help me sleep better at night, help with my digestive problems, lower my stress levels, heal my pelvis, and help me get pregnant.   I’m hopeful.  I’m willing to give it time to work.  They checked Jeremy out over the weekend, assuming he would have some kind of contributing factor to all of this.  No.  They actually said he’s perfect.  It’s just me.  Of course.  But they think they can fix it, not just treat it, so that’s really all that matters.

Our real concern now? birth control… fml.

Birth Control Optional 2.0

I went in to see Dr. G again today.  The first thing we did was go over my x-rays from Saturday.  He thinks my main problem is my pelvis: it’s sprained…. SPRAINED!  He said based on my x-rays, it’s been sprained for at least 10 years, maybe longer.  He said it could have happened when I was learning how to walk and fell wrong.  Or it could have happened when I was a basket ball player — I fell a lot because I was a boss like that.  Or I jumped off of something wrong as a teenager.  Or I fell out of bed once and hit it just right.  The possibilities as to what happened are endless and really don’t matter because he thinks he can fix it and completely eliminate my lower back and hip pain.  Doing so should also make my infertility disappear (or at least lessen).  The only reason it’s gotten worse as I’ve gotten older is because I’m far less active than I was as a teenager and the muscles that were cushioning everything just aren’t cutting it anymore.

The only bummer?  As he starts to fix it, in theory, I’ll become more fertile.  But it will be a few months before my pelvis is healed enough to carry a baby without miscarrying again.  While he couldn’t outright tell me not to try, he did tell me if we continue to try, we probably wouldn’t like the outcome.   So, for the first time in 2+ years, we’re back to preventing a pregnancy.  Out of control.  BUT, this is so preferable to losing another baby.

He said we should aim for May, or April if we’re really desperate.  I can do that.  He’s given us a very good reason and I have a goal to work towards that I’ll be able to feel.  I’ve also registered for 3 graduate classes in the spring, so I can focus on those without any distraction.  By the time spring semester is over, it will be time to try again.  Plus, I’m seeing him 3 times a week.  Yikes!

He started adjusting me today as well.  He cracked my neck (it’s tight and doesn’t curve the correct way, so why not?) and started working on re-positioning my pelvis.  It hurt at first, but felt better afterwards.  I think he’s moving something though, because it’s pretty uncomfortable tonight.  He’s also having me ice my back at least once a day… Apparently heat is bad bad bad for pelvis sprains.  Just think of all those years of HOT baths… In my bathtub.. Oops. 😉

The last thing I’m going to tell you is what I wish someone would have told me… If you’ve never been to a chiropractor and you’re having your lower back and hips examined at your consultation , wear real underwear, not a skimpy thong, and shave your legs…  Because I didn’t do either and it was mortifying…

You’re welcome.

I have 3 more lesson plans and 1 final exam to go until Winter Break!  I’m writing a final unit plan on this book.  Yes.  That is what our education system has come to. 😉  In my unit plan’s defense, I’ve created a course on classic literature and its modern counterparts and I’m having my students compare this modern vampire novel to Dracula.  So it works.  Somehow.

24: 2 Years and Moving On

Cycle 24 started on Friday.  And, it’s official.  We’re quitting the RE.  At least for now.

We saw the chiropractor (Dr. G) this morning.  After a in depth exam, he told me he thinks we’re really straight forward and he thinks he can help us.  My right sacroiliac joint is really out of place, plus quite a few vertebrae up and down my spine.  He showed us how your sacrum is connected to all of your reproductive organs and when things are pinched, it reduces blood and energy flow to those organs.  He said it all probably stemmed from some injury that could have happened any time, even when I was a baby.

He said if I was to get pregnant, I wouldn’t stay pregnant for long.  We hadn’t told him about our miscarriage yet.  But that also means that going through with another IUI probably wouldn’t be the best idea right now.  I don’t think we can handle losing another baby any time soon.  He asked us to give him 4 to 6 months to work on adjustments.  And then… he thinks we’ll be able to get pregnant… NATURALLY!

We were nervous about breaking away from Dr. B, but the thought of no more medication and the idea of getting pregnant all on our own sounds too good to pass up.  PLUS, this is the first doctor who has given us a reason for my infertility and hasn’t just thrown medicine and procedures at us.

So, we’re going to let Dr. G do his thing for a few months and see what happens.  If, after he fixes everything, we’re still not pregnant, we’ll go back to Dr. B and maybe it will only take one IUI to do the trick.

I’m hesitant to get on board with Dr. G’s positivity– Dr. B was the one who told us we’d be getting pregnant the first month we tried gonal-f…  But I am feeling much more positive than I felt about doing a 3rd IUI.  Especially if this might be the reason we lost the baby.  I’m cautiously optimistic.  I’m looking forward to working with a new doctor.  I’m so happy that I won’t be taking anything more than vitamins.

The bummer?  I already ordered 3 more 450 unit Gonal-f pens.  They’ll be here on Tuesday and will live in the fridge until we get pregnant and donate them or until we realize leaving Dr. B was a big mistake and go back in for another IUI. 😉

One year ago, we had been trying for a year.  We were beaten down and discouraged by test results and failure.  This past year of trying was the hardest year of my life.  But, as we enter the beginning of our 3rd year, I’m thankful that we started trying so early, while we were so young, so that we have time to try new ideas before its too late.

Chiropractic Infertility Treatment

I LOVE this graphic.  I found it on pinterest and can’t find the source.  But I just thought it was so perfect.

  Still waiting on my period to start.  I’ve had a little spotting off and on, but nothing more yet.  Of course.  If it starts today, or even tomorrow, we still have a shot at an IUI this month.  BUT, I finally made another appointment with Dr. B.  We haven’t seen him since the end of our monitoring cycle in August and I just really need to know where we’re at and what he thinks.

I want to pick his brain about a diagnosis.  Will he want to do a lap?  I’m just not content with his wait and see/ conservative approach and I want to know why my cycles continue to be so wonky despite the huge amounts of extra hormones we’re pumping into my body.  So we go see him again two weeks from yesterday.

I also made an appointment with a local chiropractor to get my uterus, my hips, and my lower back checked.  My cousin and her husband are chiropractors and really advocate using adjustments to keep the whole body healthy.  I chatted with her last night about it and she said there are a lot of connections between your hips, lower back, and uterus.  I wish I could go see them, but they live in Grand Rapids. 😦 I’m going to see this guy on Saturday morning.  I’ve always had a lot of hip and lower back pain, so maybe there’s something to this.   Any tips or personal experiences about chiropractic infertility treatments?

In other news, I’m pushing through final projects.  One week from tonight and I’ll be done for the semester!  I’m drinking too much coffee and not getting nearly enough sleep.  And I’m definitely not eating well.  Prenatal vitamins?  Oopsies…  Thank goodness we took this cycle off.

On Tuesday, Snow White had her first vet appointment.  It went well.  Afterwards, we met my sister and her goldendoodle, Mr. Smith, at the dog park so the cousins could play together.  Snow White never stops running. 😉

It’s finally cooling down here (again).  The greyhounds are back in their jackets when we go outside.  And they’ve both fallen in love with our wood burning fireplace. 😉