The last couple weeks have been a roller coaster, and I am so thankful they’re over.
After I posted about our last appointment at the NCCRM, they finally called and offered to let me come in for a “mini-D&C” in office. The catch: I would have to be awake during it. I don’t know if this was to discourage me from choosing this option or not. While that freaked me out, almost 2 weeks of dead babies inside of me was more than enough. I was ready to schedule it and have this whole thing be over. But then, only a few hours later, I started to spot. I spotted into the next day until I started to completely miscarry on my own. While I’m thankful I didn’t have to go back into that office, I don’t think I ever want to miscarry naturally again if I can help it. It was emotional and painful and isolating and just horrible. Give me the drugs. Give me the D&C. Let someone else handle it.
We took a spur of the moment trip up to Chicago to spend Easter with my family. I needed to leave the house. I needed to get away from home for a while. It was nice to see my family. I wasn’t really ready to leave.
Last Wednesday, I had an appointment with Duke Fertility. The two doctors I saw were the complete opposite of my Dr at the NCCRM. Both were women, which I loved, and both were super compassionate, yet very professional. They asked a lot of questions and dug into everything I brought with me. They disagree with Dr. T’s use of lovenox and want to take a closer look at my thyroid. Dr. B picked up some anti-thyroid antibodies in my blood last year and they didn’t like that no one really looked further into that. At the very least, they would recommend a low dose thyroid medicine. Like the lovenox, it can’t hurt and can only help. They wanted to run the recurrent miscarriage blood panel that Dr. T said was a waste of time. They answered my questions and explained things to me. They were interested in educating me as well as finding out what, if anything, went wrong last time, and how they can do things differently next time.
When I asked about my cramping during transfer and for the next couple weeks after, they said it was probably my endometriosis causing pain and irritation. There’s probably nothing to be done about it, but it’s also probably not hurting anything right now. It’s a bummer that nothing can be done, but at least they tried to explain it.
They also gave me the run down on how they would proceed with another retrieval should I need/decide to go that route. They would insist on another 3 months of lupron to treat any endometriosis that has grown back. They probably wouldn’t have even done this last retrieval without a round of lupron. As much as I hated being on lupron, I like that they’re being proactive and are wanting to treat my endometriosis seriously.
Tomorrow, I go meet with one more doctor at UNC. I’ve heard that UNC has excellent bedside manner. Best case scenario: we have two excellent doctors to choose from. Worst case: we don’t care for UNC and switch to Duke next week.
I would be perfectly happy switching to Duke right now. They remind me of Dr. B and I felt very comfortable with them. I can send the Dr. emails directly too, which I love. Duke’s live birth rates are slightly higher than UNC’s, but not enough for that to be the deciding factor.
I feel a little more empowered as I’m choosing a new doctor. I’m trying to treat each appointment like an interview. I’m interviewing these doctors like they’ll be working for me. I’m trying not to feel desperate, but to be proactive and logical. I think it’s helping.
More after UNC tomorrow.