Everything is going to be ok.

Thank you for your kind words after last post.  

I think we’re doing better.  I know I’m doing better.  

I scheduled an appointment with Dr. M on September 10th.  While they told me I could get going on the last transfer right away, I asked if it would be ok if we took some time off.  Indefinitely.  Yes, we still have 2 embryos.  Yes, we still desperately want children.  No, we’re not going to work on adopting in the meantime.  No, we won’t be trying naturally.  I’ve been given the go ahead to stay on birth control until we decide that we’re ready to use our last 2 embryos.  I’m thankful they’re ok with this because I’m pretty sure the endometriosis I spent all of last summer battling has returned and is starting to make my life miserable again.  Birth control is my friend.  I will tell you that popping a birth control pill and a prenatal vitamin every night is it’s own kind of special weirdness.

Jeremy is hoping I’ll be ready to try again by the end of the year because we’ve met our out of pocket max on our health insurance this year.  If we transfer before December 31, we’ll only pay our normal clinic fee and meds, ultrasound, blood work, and transfer will be covered.  Part of me hopes I’ll be ready by then too, but a larger part of me knows I need more time than that.  

I don’t have any faith in these embryos or in my body and that’s not how I want to move forward with them.

With all that being the case, it is time for me to get out of the house.  I’ve been home and waiting for something to happen for the past 8 1/2 months.  I’ve been getting more and more antsy and anxious as time has gone on.  I’m not a homebody.  I like seeing people for the most part.

I mentioned I had an interview last week.  I got the job!  I start next Wednesday and I’m so excited.  I’ll work anywhere from 16 to 30 hours a week.  It will probably be closer to 30 as we get closer to the holidays.  It’s with a small custom fabric printing company.  I can’t wait.  I wish I could have started this past week.  This is just what I need to get out of the funk that I’m in.  I’m more than ready to settle into this company and enjoy my life as it is right now.  No doctors, no medication, no extreme ups and downs, no more wasted time.  I am sad that we’re putting our family aspirations on hold, but my hope is that by the time we both feel ready to try again, we’ll be able to afford to either adopt or buy a house depending on the outcome.  

I’m only 26.  My mom had me at 31 and adopted my sister a couple years after that.  “We have time” has become my mantra.  We have time.  We have time.  We have time.  And everything is going to be ok.

Burning Out

It’s official.  I’m completely burned out for the semester.  How do I know?  Monday’s Starbucks time feels like Thursday’s night class…
I got great sleep last night, but my brain is fried.  Too much political talk, too much reading, too much (*gasp*) writing.  I haven’t carried my journal with me in over a week…
Jeremy and I sat on the couch last night with a movie on (I have absolutely no idea what we watched) and instead of working on Christmas presents or Etsy stuff, Jeremy and I were working on Snuggles blankets for the Chicago Animal Shelter that we adopted Alice and Bella from…  Why?  Because they’re easy and I really need to destash.  In an effort to avoid my homework yesterday afternoon, I tore my office apart to try and find a place for all that extra yarn that’s been piling up in anticipation of Christmas gifts.  That didn’t happen.  Now I just have piles of yarn that Bella is probably gleefully rolling in now that she’s home alone with it…  ugh…

In other news, I finished my second sweater a couple weeks ago, but have yet to post pictures.  The pattern is called “$5 in Paris” and was written by a fellow blogger.   She’s pretty interesting.  I’ve been following her blog since I found the pattern on Ravelry as she’s got all kinds of neat patterns and just had twin boys that are still in the hospital. 😦
Anywho, here’s my $5 in Chicago….
I’ll make a size smaller next time and maybe add some waist decreases, but for only costing $5 in yarn, I’m happy with it. 😉

My next sweater is a version of an American Eagle sweater that I don’t want to buy…  It’s coming along.  I’ve decided to name it my “Mochalone” and it will be the first sweater pattern I’ve written for myself.  Exciting?  You betcha.
I read somewhere that most sweater knitters knit about 8 sweaters a year.  I’ve finished two adult sizes, 3 baby sizes and am currently working on 2 adults with 3 adults and 1 Calli size in the plans… Looks like I’m becoming an above average sweater knitter. 🙂

I’m thinking about setting up another blog purely for our Etsy store.  Just a little forewarning… 🙂  Extra promoting never hurts, especially now that collar sales have taken off and Becky has those super cute birds listed.

Meanwhile, I’m going to continue on my quest to not lose my mind before Thursday as I have a week without classes coming up.  I’ll be baking, sewing, knitting, cleaning, reading, and writing and I’m looking forward to it more than I’ve ever looked forward to a break before….  Just keep sane, just keep sane…